Send a name, pitch, campaign, landing page, offer, AI-assisted draft, or concept for screening. The Bureau first determines whether the case is a fit. If accepted, payment is required before the investigation begins.
For founders, startups, creators, consultants, agencies, organizations, and teams with names, campaigns, offers, websites, AI-assisted drafts, or concepts that need private signal diagnosis before public release.
For confidential client work. The Private Case Intake form opens in a new tab.
Encountered a public specimen that may deserve Coroner attention?
Send the link, screenshot, photo, or description. The Bureau will route it for public-specimen review if the artifact appears to merit ceremonial handling: quiet admiration, future consideration, or public autopsy.
For artifacts already visible to the public. The Public Specimen form opens in a new tab.
For cases that need discussion before pricing, scope, or the right level of intervention becomes clear.
For a free 30-minute screening conversation. The Cal.com calendar opens in a new tab.
Signal Triage is paid upfront. Larger casework requires an upfront payment or deposit before examination begins.
The Bureau does not begin casework on vibes, enthusiasm, or the thrilling possibility of future compensation.
Screening determines fit. Payment begins the investigation.
Submit your name, message, campaign, AI-assisted draft, or concept before either your audience fails to notice it or the market discovers its accidental brilliance and the Signal Coroner is forced, with great professional sorrow, to perform a public autopsy.
